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  #1  
  08-13-2006, 02:58 PM
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7 degrees of blonde



Ist DEGREE:

A married couple were asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning.
The wife (who's blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment and
said, "How the hell should I know? It's about 200 miles away" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know if the coast is
clear!"


2nd DEGREE:

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
pavement and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror,
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her
the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You fool...it's
me!"


3rd DEGREE:

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She turns up at his flat and when she opens the door she finds
him in the arms of a red head. The blonde is livid. She opens her purse
to take out the gun, and as she does so, she has a change of mind. She
takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."

The blonde replies, "Shut up! You're next!"


4th DEGREE:

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Russia?"

The blonde replies, "that's easy... R!"


5th DEGREE:

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"


6th DEGREE:

A blonde writes off her car in a horrific crash. Miraculously, she managed
to pry herself from the wreckage and was applying fresh lipstick when the
police arrived.

"My God!" the officer gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was
stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK madam?"

"Oh yes, officer, I'm fine" the blonde chirped.

"What on earth happened?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Well, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along
this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me! So I
swerved to the right to avoid it, but there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was ANOTHER tree! So, I swerved to the right and there
was yet another tree! I swerved to"

"Uh, madam," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this
road for about 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and
forth."


7th DEGREE:

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked
and burgled. Devastated, she telephoned the police at once and reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the Blonde
sat on the porch, shook her head at the sight of the policeman and his dog,
and then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "What's this world coming to? I
come home to find my house trashed and all my possessions taken. I call
the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a "BLIND Policeman"


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  #2  
  08-15-2006, 12:02 PM
 
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LMAO
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Patience is a virtue, but when dealing with a Panasonic a sledge hammer would be so much faster.......

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  #3  
  08-15-2006, 11:14 PM
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That's pretty funny.

You need to stretch your arms out for the punchline

How come the Blonde went to church?

Because she heard Jesus was hung like this (Stretch your arms out)
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